In mid-March I spent ten days at my mother's house near Tuebingen. My mission was to sort out some of her belongings after she had left her body in October last year, and to sell off some of her more valuable furniture and other possessions.
Some relatives came for a couple of days who could not attend the cremation ceremony in November, and who were interested in keeping some photo albums, pictures of the family and ancestors, and other little personal items in remembrance of my mother. Dhara Mataji and Irina from the Cologne temple came for a few days to help me with cooking prasadam and taking care of the people. So we had one more little get-together at my mother's house, with friends and neighbors dropping in - another preaching opportunity, with some of Srila Prabhupada's books reaching eager hands.
I tried my best to pass on whatever useful things my mother had left behind - big and small. She always liked to have things being used to the very end - having experienced the Second World War, she strongly objected to a wasteful attitude so common in these modern days of consumerism. I regarded it as a way of honouring her, by performing this last little service to her of dealing with her personal things in a respectful way, so that they would continue living in people's homes. Seeing them as a part of Krishna's energy, I felt they should be used as much as somehow possible in Krishna's service - where they belonged. So the devotees from Cologne loaded up their car to the maximum with all kinds of useful things - for the temple, and for themselves personally.
With my lifestyle of living out of a suitcase, I could only accept very few items - mainly things which she had bought on her visits to Mayapur and Vrindavan, and very personal items such as a nice scarf which she had worn a lot around her head - up to her last breath...
Most days I found some time to go for a walk in nature - the same excursions I had taken her on in her wheelchair, which she had enjoyed so much. Along the way, I visited the cemetery where we had celebrated the amazing commemoration ceremony, while putting (most of her) ashes into the ground. I made a last visit to the old church in the beautiful village, where some of her art work is hanging on the walls. It was a time of reflection and conscious bidding farewell...
Clearing my mother's household gave me another opportunity to conclude my relationship with her and bring it to a satisfying end. I can now close this chapter within my life. Family attachments are very deep, and I feel blessed to be allowed to let go of them now - before it will be my turn to leave. My mother's lifetime had come to an end. I may never come here again - there was no meaningful and Krishna conscious purpose to return...
On the 23rd of March I flew off to Sofia/Bulgaria....
Your servant, Devaki dd
Clearing my mother's household gave me another opportunity to conclude my relationship with her and bring it to a satisfying end. I can now close this chapter within my life. Family attachments are very deep, and I feel blessed to be allowed to let go of them now - before it will be my turn to leave. My mother's lifetime had come to an end. I may never come here again - there was no meaningful and Krishna conscious purpose to return...
On the 23rd of March I flew off to Sofia/Bulgaria....
Your servant, Devaki dd
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