In mid of August we celebrated a unique wedding at Simhachalam: Tribhanga Prabhu, who is in charge of the agricultural department and Bhaktin Zina were giving their vows in front of Lord Nrsimhadeva, the sacrificial fire and the assembly of the Vaishnavas to serve and support each other in their roles as husband and wife. The celebration was sweet, simple and yet very unique.
Since he is our farmer, he decided to circumambulate the temple by driving his tractor three times around the building before entering the temple room - dressed in a festive wedding outfit in turquoise and gold. Needless to say, it was great fun for everyone, including the kids who all ran along behind the tractor, pulling their little toy-tractors. And in the same way, after the vivaha-yajna had concluded, they drove both together on the little tractor to the barn - their first exercise of cooperation as a freshly married couple, blessed by the Lord and His devotees. It was simply a hilarious sight, seeing her sitting on his lap while both hanging on to the steering wheel. We all had a good laugh....!
Arriving at the barn they went to worship the cows - one of the duties of a grihastha. The entire community followed and participated by feeding delicacies to Krishna's favorite animals. And then came the feast, which was sumptuous and delicious....
Arriving at the barn they went to worship the cows - one of the duties of a grihastha. The entire community followed and participated by feeding delicacies to Krishna's favorite animals. And then came the feast, which was sumptuous and delicious....
 |  |
Oftentimes we may hear the recommendation that devotees should first get married legally, and after one year or so, they should arrange for the Vaishnava ceremony. It seems to be a certain concession in order to see whether or not the two candidates are able to maintain their marital relationship and cooperate. Unfortunately we have to admit that there is a high divorce rate within our ISKCON society. Many devotees separate – unable to maintain their marriage vows, even after giving them in a fire yajna.
In a letter to Omkara dasi, 2 September 1975, Srila Prabhupada expresses his concern:
"I have no objection to marriage, but to bless it by fire sacrifice, that I am thinking that if they don’t stay together, then it is not good. But if they can remain together for one year, then there can be fire sacrifice. But changing three times in a month husband and wife, that is not good."
In a letter to Omkara dasi, 2 September 1975, Srila Prabhupada expresses his concern:
"I have no objection to marriage, but to bless it by fire sacrifice, that I am thinking that if they don’t stay together, then it is not good. But if they can remain together for one year, then there can be fire sacrifice. But changing three times in a month husband and wife, that is not good."
Srila Prabhupada’s words indicate this to be an instruction according to time, place and circumstances. In those early days, devotees were, for the most part, untrained and strongly conditioned by the hippie-mentality of frequently changing partners. Thus, Srila Prabhupada recommended the above adjustment.
According to Vaishnava culture, we enter married life with an unflinching commitment to maintain our promise, keep our word of honour, and stay together, serving each other as husband and wife. There is no question of divorce! And, we should desire to begin this relationship with the blessings of the Lord and His dear devotees – immediately, not after a year.
As devotees become mature and cultivate these refined aspects of truthfulness – both individually and collectively – they will feel uneasy, even awkward, waiting for one year before celebrating the Vaishnava wedding ceremony. It will seem to them that they are beginning the relationship without the sanction and blessings of the Lord and His devotees, which they will see as an inauspicious beginning. Furthermore, a wife may already be pregnant after one year! And to then perform a vivaha-yajna will be even more out of place and awkward, if not downright unprincipled!
To postpone the Vaishnava wedding may cultivate the wrong mood by entering married life without a firm commitment. Rather, we keep the back door open – just in case – in order to escape. After all, we can still separate because we have not had a yajna yet…!
It may be seen as a poor sign that, even after 50 years of ISKCON, we have not been able to establish a higher standard of truthfulness by sticking to our word of honour and maintaining our vows. This serves as a clear indication of how important it is for the wellbeing of our society that we offer systematic training, education, and also support and assistance to our devotees who wish to enter the grihastha-ashrama. Without this, it may be difficult to get a grip on our social problems and challenges.
Your servant, Devaki dd
According to Vaishnava culture, we enter married life with an unflinching commitment to maintain our promise, keep our word of honour, and stay together, serving each other as husband and wife. There is no question of divorce! And, we should desire to begin this relationship with the blessings of the Lord and His dear devotees – immediately, not after a year.
As devotees become mature and cultivate these refined aspects of truthfulness – both individually and collectively – they will feel uneasy, even awkward, waiting for one year before celebrating the Vaishnava wedding ceremony. It will seem to them that they are beginning the relationship without the sanction and blessings of the Lord and His devotees, which they will see as an inauspicious beginning. Furthermore, a wife may already be pregnant after one year! And to then perform a vivaha-yajna will be even more out of place and awkward, if not downright unprincipled!
To postpone the Vaishnava wedding may cultivate the wrong mood by entering married life without a firm commitment. Rather, we keep the back door open – just in case – in order to escape. After all, we can still separate because we have not had a yajna yet…!
It may be seen as a poor sign that, even after 50 years of ISKCON, we have not been able to establish a higher standard of truthfulness by sticking to our word of honour and maintaining our vows. This serves as a clear indication of how important it is for the wellbeing of our society that we offer systematic training, education, and also support and assistance to our devotees who wish to enter the grihastha-ashrama. Without this, it may be difficult to get a grip on our social problems and challenges.
Your servant, Devaki dd
RSS Feed
