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Digesting the first Chemo

6/1/2017

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The first Chemotherapy was not so easy for my body to digest. It must have been a shock to my system to all of a sudden be confronted with such heavy toxins. I had to drink around 4 to 6 liters of water per day, and a lot of it was retained in the body and passed out during the night. Almost every hour I had to make my way to the bathroom, and I could feel my organs working very hard to fight with all those poisons, especially my heart pumping away strongly. Some nights it was difficult to sleep, because my body was in the fighting mode. During the first week I felt rather weak, and my blood pressure was very low - sometimes I felt close to fainting and looked indeed like a half dead cancer patient! I had to take a number of medicines to counteract the side effects and subdue the vomitting. I had to change my eating habits and take four to five small meals a day - some days it was difficult to eat anything at all. The dietician had told me that it was very important for me to take high quality foods and more protein, in order to give my body enough strength to deal with the situation. It seemed like Krsna had arranged the perfect place for me. In Bangalore everything was available: soya milk and tofu to give me more protein, nuts, sprouts, avocados and many nice fruits such as mangos, papayas and pineapple were in season now - even jackfruit! I took dhal and shak for lunch, and we could get some nice bread from the temple to make pizza toasts with olives and cheese to give me some appetite. In this way I survived the first week, and from then on it was getting easier from day to day.
Bangalore is an excellent place for taking treatments. It has very pleasant climate since it is a thousand meters above sea level: 25 to 28 degrees Celsius, with a pleasant breeze blowing at all times, every now and again a thunder storm in the afternoon or evening, and cool at night. Perfect! I didn't even know that such place exists in India! They call it the air-conditioned city. Everywhere else in India at this time of the year people are sweating away at 40 to 50 degrees!
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I had discussed with Madhusudan Prabhu that it would be best for me to stay in a guest family of the devotee community for around two to maximum four weeks, and then move to another guest family. This would give me the best care and protection, rather than staying alone in a room or flat near the temple. And moving around from one family to another I would not become too much of a burden, and at the same time I would get an opportunity to develop relationships with different devotees. The needful arrangements were made, and various families stepped forward to receive me.
My first hosting family was Anadi Jagannath Prabhu and his good wife Vrinda Mataji. They had gotten married three years ago, and she was not going to work but staying at home. Every morning they had a shortened morning program in their home, and sometimes some neigboring devotees came to attend. This was setting a spiritual atmosphere in their home, which was also helpful and uplifting for me, even though I could not take part so much. Some afternoons Vrinda Mataji conducted a children's program with around 25 nice boys and girls gathering in their launch room. It was wonderful to see, how much effort she put into giving these children Krsna consciousness, even though she did not even have her own children yet. They were practicing a little drama about Lord Nrsimhadeva's appearance, and the kids were so absorbed and enthusiastic to play their roles. They loved the program and participated with full enthusiasm. Such experiences create deep Samskaras in the child's mind and heart, which are of eternal benefit.

I was very nicely taken care of by Vrinda Mataji and her good husband. Such care I most likely would have not been able to receive in any other part of the world! Often the ladies are also working, and people are so busy, that they cannot "adopt" a Chemo-patient into their family and give the necessary support and care. Once again I marvelled how Krsna had arranged everything to the very best!

I had found a mission for this period of time staying in Bangalore: I was working on putting a booklet together on the topic of spiritual culture. Many devotees had requested me in the past to do this, and my answer had always been: "While my health is good I will travel as widely as possible and give courses to bring awareness to this topic of culture. And once my health declines, I will sit down and write." To be honest, I had not expected this to happen so soon! But as soon as the diagnose of cancer appeared in my life, I immediately realized that this was a great opportunity to start this work. Now, almost every day I have found some time and energy to dedicate to this task, and it has given me a good focus and higher purpose to my break from traveling. In fact, if I truly can get it together to actually put a booklet out, then it is well worthwhile taking Chemotherapy! Only cancer and Chemotherapy could have brought me to this point of tackling this task now!

Every Saturday evening Anadi Jagannath Prabhu and his good wife have been conducting a house program in their home, with many neigbors and parents from her children's program attending. On two such Saturdays I was invited to give the lecture, with almost 30 people gathering and listening with wrapped attention. The first Saturday was only eight days after my first Chemo - I was still feeling rather weak, but nevertheless managed to get through the program. The audience were educated and cultured people, and the mood was very nice and personal. Preaching is always the best medicine for me, disentangling the mind from mundane thoughts and anxieties.

On the 1st of June, one day before my second Chemotherapy I moved to the next family, who would take care of me for one month. I almost felt a little sad to leave Anadi Jagannath Prabhu and his good wife - we had had a nice time together, with lots of interesting exchanges and discussions......

Your servant, Devaki dd
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