On my way to Bangalore on the 26th of November I had scheduled a two-day stop-over in Mumbai in order to do a medical routine check-up at Bhaktivedanta Hospital. I stayed with Vaishnavaseva Prabhu and his good wife Kalindi Mataji, who live just around the corner from the hospital, and who had performed my two cancer surgeries in the past. It had been more than eighteen months since my last surgery, so I decided it was time for another check-up, hoping I would not end up again on the operating table.....
I spent one morning doing the rounds through all the main departments, getting my body checked. The results were all perfectly OK - my vehicle received the stamp of a successful inspection, ready to roll for the next 18 months....
While in Mumbai I distributed 24 copies of my book to some of the hospital staff I knew, and also to the devotees serving the ISKCON Desiretree website and having their work place at Vaishnavaseva Prabhu's home. Especially the young fellows and ladies were very keen to receive it!
I flew on to Bangalore, where I stayed for one week. For the first couple of days the devotees had arranged programs at the ICC temple (ISKCON Cultural Center): a ladies' program on the topic of "Being a Homemaker - Honor or Disgrace", and two evening programs on the need for sheltering relationships: one as a general program, and the second one for leaders and preachers only. All programs were well attended and eagerly received. More and more devotees are becoming increasingly aware of the need for sheltering relationships - a mentor, who can guide us as a confidential, well-wishing friend. Especially if the leaders and preachers show some interest in this topic, then there is some hope that the concept will be taken further and eventually implemented. I am looking forward to the moment when soon my next book will be published on this very topic!
While in Mumbai I distributed 24 copies of my book to some of the hospital staff I knew, and also to the devotees serving the ISKCON Desiretree website and having their work place at Vaishnavaseva Prabhu's home. Especially the young fellows and ladies were very keen to receive it!
I flew on to Bangalore, where I stayed for one week. For the first couple of days the devotees had arranged programs at the ICC temple (ISKCON Cultural Center): a ladies' program on the topic of "Being a Homemaker - Honor or Disgrace", and two evening programs on the need for sheltering relationships: one as a general program, and the second one for leaders and preachers only. All programs were well attended and eagerly received. More and more devotees are becoming increasingly aware of the need for sheltering relationships - a mentor, who can guide us as a confidential, well-wishing friend. Especially if the leaders and preachers show some interest in this topic, then there is some hope that the concept will be taken further and eventually implemented. I am looking forward to the moment when soon my next book will be published on this very topic!
For the weekend and the remaining days in Bangalore I visited the Sheshadripuram temple, offering the Sunday feast lecture and three sessions on "The False Ego - Our Constant Companion and Troublemaker." Even though the seminar was on working days, it was surprisingly well attended by eager devotees. We had thought-provoking discussions, and everyone became more conscious of how the false ego is affecting us in subtle ways.
Simply hearing lectures will not free us from the pushings of the false ego. We can relish hearing Krishna katha for many years and yet maintain our ego-driven patterns of behavior. Through such hearing one acts like an elephant that covers itself in dirt immediately after bathing. A mentor can help us to detect where we have to improve ourselves. Interestingly, the bigger our false ego is, the less we can see it. One may think it should be the other way around: the bigger it is, the easier we can detect it. But no - the false ego blocks our eyes and intelligence, and thus we cannot see or understand.
I recall speaking once to a devotee who was getting herself repeatedly into conflicts and tensions based on her strong false ego. At some stage of our conversation I dared to give a little hint, remarking: "Yes, our false ego somehow always gets us into trouble....!" She laughingly responded: "Come on! False ego? What's that? I don't have that.....!" I was lost for words - simply flabbergasted, how a person so troubled by her false ego can indeed think she doesn't have one! How amazing! All I could think of answering to her was: "I wish I could say that....!"
This is exactly how the false ego works: it makes us blind to our own behavior. And because it is a rather subtle element, we easily miss it. As we become more purified, we realize how indeed it is always accompanying us, pushing us to say and do things which we should not say and do - demanding its satisfaction for being right, being superior, knowing better, etc. And since our false ego is so near and dear to us, we constantly defend it, protect it and feed it - and even massage it.....!
Our only hope is Vaishnava etiquette and culture. It is designed to make us more humble than a blade of grass. There are numerous instructions how we should conduct ourselves: not defending ourselves, not answering back to seniors, not seeking to bring attention to ourselves, etc. Unfortunately we are not even so mindful of these subtle aspects of culture and etiquette, and thus we may easily maintain our ego-driven patterns of behavior.
I recall speaking once to a devotee who was getting herself repeatedly into conflicts and tensions based on her strong false ego. At some stage of our conversation I dared to give a little hint, remarking: "Yes, our false ego somehow always gets us into trouble....!" She laughingly responded: "Come on! False ego? What's that? I don't have that.....!" I was lost for words - simply flabbergasted, how a person so troubled by her false ego can indeed think she doesn't have one! How amazing! All I could think of answering to her was: "I wish I could say that....!"
This is exactly how the false ego works: it makes us blind to our own behavior. And because it is a rather subtle element, we easily miss it. As we become more purified, we realize how indeed it is always accompanying us, pushing us to say and do things which we should not say and do - demanding its satisfaction for being right, being superior, knowing better, etc. And since our false ego is so near and dear to us, we constantly defend it, protect it and feed it - and even massage it.....!
Our only hope is Vaishnava etiquette and culture. It is designed to make us more humble than a blade of grass. There are numerous instructions how we should conduct ourselves: not defending ourselves, not answering back to seniors, not seeking to bring attention to ourselves, etc. Unfortunately we are not even so mindful of these subtle aspects of culture and etiquette, and thus we may easily maintain our ego-driven patterns of behavior.
We can imagine a big and beautiful throne - a big asana in our heart. Lord Krishna is meant to take His seat there. But at the moment our big and fat false ego is occupying this throne, wanting to be the center of attention. We have to push this well fed false ego off the throne - only then can Krishna take His seat in our heart.....!
On Sunday evening I was invited to conduct a little outreach program where I met a friend and collegue of Peter Burwash. He had come to Bangalore to teach tennis at a college, and some devotees met him on a harinam and invited him to attend the program. We connected briefly, and he shared his life story: He had been initiated by Ramesvara and had been disconnected from ISKCON for many years. It was a nice exchange, and he seemed inspired to get back into Krishna consciousness. We may try to forget Krishna, but He never gives up on us.....
On the 6th of December I flew on to Coimbatore.....
Your servant, Devaki dd
On Sunday evening I was invited to conduct a little outreach program where I met a friend and collegue of Peter Burwash. He had come to Bangalore to teach tennis at a college, and some devotees met him on a harinam and invited him to attend the program. We connected briefly, and he shared his life story: He had been initiated by Ramesvara and had been disconnected from ISKCON for many years. It was a nice exchange, and he seemed inspired to get back into Krishna consciousness. We may try to forget Krishna, but He never gives up on us.....
On the 6th of December I flew on to Coimbatore.....
Your servant, Devaki dd
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