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Is Krishna really there?

12/26/2018

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On my arrival in Kolkata airport on the 11th of December I met my two assistants coming straight from Ukraine - Goloka Vasini Mataji and Lisa. Since it was already afternoon, we decided to spend one night in a hotel near the airport, and we traveled out to Mayapur early next morning.
It was wonderful to arrive again in Mayapur - the only place in this world which I could call my home. Goloka Vasini Mataji had been assisting me last year, and for Lisa it was the first time in India.
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Over the next few days we gradually settled in and established a regular routine. And we were busy preparing for the Holy Name Retreat at Ekachakra, which was scheduled over the Xmas days - 22nd to 26th of December.
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We had 33 serious and nice devotees from all corners of the world participating. As every year, it was a sweet experience with deep and prayerful evening kirtans, and devotees shared heart-moving realizations at the final closing ceremony.
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In order to mindfully turn towards Krishna when chanting in japa or kirtan, we have to be firmly convinced that Krishna is indeed there. Otherwise, how can we feelingly address Him and appeal to Him to accept us? Once sambandha-jnana is deeply established within our heart - not only on the platform of the mind and intelligence - then we realize that we have an eternal loving relationship with Him, and we feel regretful that for so many life times we ignored and neglected this relationship.
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Sometimes Krishna likes to show Himself to us in order to strengthen our faith and conviction, that He is indeed there. I once distinctly experienced such situation - it must be around 10 years ago, when I flew to Kathmandu/Nepal to conduct the first Holy Name Retreat. On my arrival at the airport I stood in line to get a tourist visa on arrival, and I was anxious to get this done quickly, so the local devotees would not think I am not on the plane and go back to the temple. When I paid for the visa, it so happened that I dropped some money on the ground without noticing it. And it was not a little bit of money, but a lot: two 500-Euro-notes, which I had carefully folded and stuck in the corner of my money belt so I would not lose them. And exactly those two 500-Euro-notes I lost, without noticing...!

I rushed down to the luggage belt, waiting for my suitcase. All passengers had their luggage already, and my suitcase was the very last one. As I grabbed it and wanted to rush to the exit, two young fellows stopped me - one being from Germany and one from England. And one of them asked me: "Excuse me, are you traveling with some Euros?" I thought it was a rather odd question, and I confirmed that I was. Then the other chap said: "Could you have a look whether you are missing something?" I thought this to be even a more weird question, and reluctantly I opened my money belt, to discover that indeed I had lost a large amount of money - a thousand Euros!
When realizing this fact, my brain almost stopped working, and I couldn't even think straight. I was simply so shocked, how it had been possible that I lost so much money. I often travel with large amounts of money, and it had never happened to me before that I lost some money! I was always so careful, keeping it in a money belt around my waist, sometimes even underneath my clothes.

The two fellows could perceive my perplexed mind, and looking with great anticipation at me, they asked: "So, how much.....?" I could barely even answer the question, stuttering: "Uh, uh, uh - five hundred! No, a thousand....!" I hardly could pronounce the words...!

Then they handed me back those two folded 500-Euro-notes and exclaimed: "OK, we believe it's yours!" And the young Englishman said: "It is simply too much money to put it into our own pockets! We simply couldn't do it!" And the other fellow added: "To lose a thousand Euros would really spoil your whole trip to Nepal, wouldn't it?!" I could only agree, still in disbelieve what I was encountering here.

The two fellows had been in the queue behind me, and we had engaged in a brief exchange: I overheard their discussion whether or not one needs a passport photo to get the visa. And while waiting in line I thought: "Let me help these two fellows". So I turned around and informed them, that a passport photo was indeed required, and if they didn't have one, they could obtain it in a machine in the corner of the arrival hall. So they went off to get their photo done, and came back to their spot behind me.

One of the fellows further shared: "We found this money on the ground, and we didn't know what to do! We didn't simply want to call out: 'Anybody lost a thousand Euros?! Come and pick it up!'" And the other fellow added: "And we were simply hoping that it might be yours!"

Needless to say, I was flabbergasted! And I could perceive Krishna's presence four-fold. First of all, if my suitcase had come a few minutes earlier, I would have been out the door, and those fellows would not have met me any longer. The fact, that they stated how it was simply too much money to put into their own pockets was obviously Paramatma instructing them from within. The fact that they were hoping it was my laxmi was once again supersoul guiding them from within their heart. And above all, the money was meant to sponsor the first Holy Name Retreat in Kathmandu! Nepal is a poor country, and I knew I had to contribute financially in order for the devotees to be able to participate. We had to rent a conference center for around one hundred devotees, which was not so cheap.

While sitting on the plane and looking out the window onto the Himalaya Mountains, some little doubt had entered my mind, and I was pondering whether it was really worthwhile to spend so much money on a three-day program. Or maybe there were better ways of spending money in Krishna's service? This little doubt had been on my mind. One may say that it was a sign that I had not fully realized "Harer-namaiva kevalam - The holy name alone is everything". Otherwise such doubts would not have entered my mind. And I felt Krishna had answered this doubt in the most sublime manner - making me lose the laxmi which was meant to sponsor the retreat, and then in a mysterious way giving it back to me. It was almost as if Krishna was saying: "No matter how carefully you are trying to hide your money, I can arrange that it will be taken away from you! And since you are using it for propagating the pure chanting of the holy name, I can mysteriously return it." And Paramatma in the two fellows' hearts had made them return it, rather than putting it into their pockets....
Krishna had answered my doubts most perfectly!
It took me the rest of the day to digest Krishna's unusual dealings, marveling at His extraordinary ways of joking with me.....
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On the 26th of December we blissfully returned to Mayapur, our heart being in separation from the sweetness and intimacy of Ekachakra Dham.....

Your servant, Devaki dd
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