Every day I joined the kirtans performed by my favorite kirtaniyas - mainly HH Niranjana Swami, Madhava Prabhu and others. The temple room in front of Pancha Tattva was wonderfully decorated and transformed into a sublime kirtan arena. And it was marvellous, seeing thousands of devotees from all around the world coming together to congregationally chant the Holy Name here in Mayapur. Coming from the secluded Ekachakra it was almost a little overwhelming. Bhaktivinoda Thakur's prediction was certainly coming more and more true...
On the 3rd of March was the Maha Abhishek of Sri Sri Pancha Tattva - an event which takes place only every five years. And thousands of devotees had arrived in Mayapur to witness this transcendental event!e to edit.
Just like on the previous Maha Abhishek five years ago I was determined to remain in the Pancha Tattva temple room, and I had reserved a little sitting place for myself near the pillars coming from Radha Madhava's to Pancha Tattva's temple room. What initially seemed a very good spot to view the entire Abhishek turned out to be a most dangerous one: masses of devotees pushed more and more forcefully into the Pancha Tattva temple room, which was very threatening for those who were already there. It was getting impossible for me to sit, since I felt the danger of people simply crushing in and trampling over me.
For the following two hours I was heavily pushed around in the crowds which had become so dense and uncontrollable that it was impossible to even move around or go anywhere. I simply tried to tolerate the external disturbances, all the while intensely chanting along in the kirtan, and keeping my eyes fixed on the beautiful sight of the Deities being bathed.
Several devotees kindly took care of me and drove me back to my place at the goshala. It took me the entire afternoon to gradually get back on my feet.
One thing was pretty amazing: while I was unconscious I continued hearing the kirtan and saw the Deities within my mind. And it was a most beautiful experience - free from all these external disturbances and chaos. Infact, it was the most sublime part of the entire abhishek for me. When I came back to consciousness I was so disappointed to return to external reality, realizing that the wonderful experience was part of my unconscious state.
Nevertheless, it was reassuring that Krsna had kindly agreed to remain present within my mind. After all, from Him comes knowledge, rememberance and forgetfulness. It is up to His sweet will whether He agrees to appear within our mind, or not.
On the same evening, after recovering from the whole experience I suddenly felt the urge to contact Gaur Hari Prabhu, the manager of the goshala. I had discussed with him the details of the arrangement for our inauguration program sceduled for the 5th of March, but I had not seen any preparations being made in regards to building the Pandal, etc. And the program would be after two days. When speaking to him we realized that he had misunderstood the dates, thinking that the inauguration program would be on the 15th - not the 5th. I almost fainted again! What a disaster! In two days the program was supposed to take place, and he had made the arrangements for the wrong date, ten days later....!
But Gaura Hari Prabhu is a man of action. He simply starred at me with wide opened eyes and said: "Come back in one hour - I will make some phone calls....". And surely enough, within one hour some Bengali men from the nearby villages came and started preparing the area to build the Pandal for the inauguration program. We quickly discussed and finalized all the necessary arrangements, and the work continued throughout the whole night.....
When taking rest that evening I could sense a strong feeling of helplessly depending on Krsna's guidance and overall control....
Your servant, Devaki dd