So her submission to her husband is the tactic, by which she conquers his heart - no matter how irritabel or cruel he may be. This is the power of the feminine energy.
In grhastha seminars we therefore sometimes hear the following amusing instruction: the wife should for the first ten years say with folded hands "Yes Prabhu, yes Prabhu", and for the rest of their life he will say "yes Devi, yes Devi..."
But it might take ten years.....!
However, the concept of a woman being at least equal, if not to say even two steps ahead of a man leads to the fact that she will no longer agree to be the auspicious source of energy to him. Rather she is competing with him - in a more or less subtle way. And this has a very disempowering effect on the male nature, since he indeed needs this feminine energy in order to be inspired to be responsible and take charge. As a result he becomes weak, insecure, undecisive, sometimes even lazy, depressed and irresponsible. And of course, he will definately not feel inclined to fulfill her emotional needs. Infact he is fearing that if he supports her, she will become even stronger in her competitive nature, and thus it will even weaken him more. For him it is almost like feeding a scorpion or a snake, who will then bite back even stronger.
I have had many men complain to me about this, even senior devotees and disciples of Prabhupada - how their wife cannot submit, but always knows everything better, and tries to be two steps ahead of him. And how disempowering this is for him. And Prabhupada confirms this by stating in the same purport (9.3.10): "In the modern day, the wife is never submissive,and therefore home life is broken even by slight incidents." As a result of this men in general are becoming more irresponsible and careless, and sometimes their male energy is becoming misdirected and can manifest in a destructive, aggressive and even violent way. Another result is that men today are losing more and more the heroic male leadership qualities and develop more feminine qualities, and women are losing the beautiful feminine qualities and are becoming more dominant and masculine. And both end up being frustrated and unfulfilled, because they are not playing the role they are meant to play according to the 'vehicle' they are driving. Krsna has given us a Divine system in which the male and female needs and qualities perfectly complement each other, and thus provide a perfect arrangement to make spiritual progress.
So if we women want to be happy in our dealings with men, we have to learn the deeper secrets of becoming the auspicious source of energy to men. This principle is not only there in marriage, but in all dealings - within society at large, within management and within preaching. Once we convince the men that we are indeed their power of inspiration, mainly by giving up our competitive nature and putting ourselves below them, then this will naturally inspire the men to very affectionately protect and care for us women. After all they do depend on this auspicious source of energy, and therefore they will protect it.
In those countries were spiritual culture is still more prominent today, and where women still know the art of playing their role, there we find that the men in general know the art of giving support and protection to women, and they accept their responsibility to take charge. But as long as we are not the auspicious source of energy to men, they will not be inspired to give this protection and care.
Krsna has given us a perfect system wherein we all receive what we need. We only have to understand and accept it and play our roles He has designated to us.
More secrets and universal principles we can discover in courses announced on www.therootsofspiritualculture.net
We are now also offering a course for men called 'Men in Spiritual Culture'.