I was also invited to visit the Gurukula outside of Vrindavan for two days and offered a couple of programs to the student boys and teachers. Upon returning to Vrindavan we had a ladies' sanga at the Kirtan Ashrama, which was well attended and received. In this way, I spent a blissful time during Kartik in Vrindavan.
The highlight was the deep and meditative celebration for Srila Prabhupada's disappearance. Vrindavan is the very best place to observe this occasion. In other places of the world it is often poorly celebrated, especially when it falls on a working day - a two-hour program.
Thousands of devotees gathered in the Krishna Hall at the Goshala, offering Guru Puja to Srila Prabhupada, followed by a lecture given by him. For around 4 hours, disciples of Srila Prabhupada spoke on his glories, sharing their realisations and drops of nectar from their time in personal association with him. Such katha is always heart-melting and deepens our meditation and connection with our beloved Srila Prabhupada. The program concluded with an abhishek for Srila Prabhupada, a joyful kirtan and prasadam.
In the afternoon, I spent time in Srila Prabhupada's room, which was transformed into an ocean of flowers! Simply out of this world....! I ended the day by watching once again Yadubara Prabhu's movie about Srila Prabhupada - "Hare Krishna! The Mantra, the Movement and the Swami who started it all." A day spent in deep reflection, gratitude and rededication to Srila Prabhupada and his mission....
A few days before he left this world, Srila Prabhupada expressed his desire to go on parikrama around Govardhana Hill, in a bullock cart. By then, his body was frail and weak; so much so that the idea of him riding in a bullock cart seemed like utter madness. The roads were full of potholes that would make the ride extremely bumpy - something, his body would simply not survive. But Srila Prabhupada insisted: "This is what I desire - to go one last time around Govardhana Hill for the upcoming Govardhan puja."
Devotees were caught in a maddening dilemma. Should they follow the orders of their spiritual master to fulfil his last desire? Or should they deny his last wish, protecting him from a torturous journey along the bumpy road, which would most likely cause his death? Two camps were forming, with devotees already starting to make all preparations for his desired parikrama, padding the cart with soft mattresses to make the ride endurable. And the other camp was vehemently objecting, steeped in fear for Srila Prabhupada's life and safety. The whole atmosphere escalated to a frenzy, driving everyone mad in loving feelings for Srila Prabhupada. Finally, a group of devotees approached Srila Prabhupada in tears, expressing their utter distress: "Srila Prabhupada, this situation is driving us mad! We don't want you to go on this parikrama - your body is too weak and fragile. Why do you have to go on this tour?"
Upon seeing his distressed disciples, Srila Prabhupada immediately let go of the idea, responding, "All right, I will not go - I don't want you to suffer in distress. Let us cancel the idea." Srila Prabhupada performed this transcendental pastime just to deepen his disciples' love for him by causing them unbearably maddening distress of love for his well-being.
Srila Prabhupada performed a similar pastime, which is described in TKG's Diary. When he had concluded that his body was of no further use in his preaching mission, he decided it was best to fast and prepare for his departure. Then he lovingly challenged his disciples, stating it was in his own hands to either leave or stay - he could do as they desired. Devotees were rather bewildered by this information, and in tears; they met and discussed the instruction and position of their spiritual master. A delegation of disciples finally approached him and, between their sobs, said that they all wanted him to stay on in this world. Srila Prabhupada calmly responded: "Oh, you want me to stay longer? All right, I will start eating again." He then ended his fast and began eating again. In this way, he drove his disciples crazy with love, affection and care for him.
On the 7th of November I moved on to Kanpur...
Your servant, Devaki dd
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