It was more than 2 years ago that I was visiting Kishiniev/Moldova last, and now, on the 9th of July, it was nice to be back and meet all the devotees again. Moldova has such a sweet and hospitable mood - very similar to Ukraine. After all, Acyuta Priya Prabhu who is the leader in Ukraine also takes care of the devotees here in Moldova. For me, it was a refreshing dip into Ukrainian nectar, especially after having been in the Western world for a while, where people are more impersonal, emotionally dry and more centered on their own goals in life. Many sweet and precious memories from the "old days" resurfaced - the loving spirit of the Bhakti Sangam Festivals, and all the nice Holy Name Retreats we had immersed ourselves in. Truly special moments of the past, which may never appear again...!
I also took the opportunity to visit nearby Tiraspol for some days - the capital of Transnistria, a breakaway state that is internationally recognised as part of Moldova. While Transnistria is not a universally recognised independent country, it functions as a de facto independent state with its own government, currency, and military and has preserved the ideas of the Russian government. Walking through the streets reminded me of the old Soviet mood 35 years ago which is indeed conducive to devotional life as the standard of life is more simple and doesn't offer many allurements to material enjoyment...
I used to visit here regularly in the very beginning of my humble preaching efforts starting from the year 2000. Now, it must be at least 16 years ago that I visited Tiraspol last! I was impressed with the new temple building - how amazing that they managed to get that off the ground, although their community is not so big. And it was nice to meet some known faces from the early days, and many nice and new people also.
In both places, we met every evening for a program at the temple, with all sangas being very well attended and received. Even in the middle of the week - on working days - the devotees were keen to come to the temple and dive into the nectar and bliss of deep discussions in Vaishnava association. And every program concluded with my favourite loving exchange - distributing prasadam to eager hands.....
I also joined the harinam on Saturday morning for an hour and distributed sweets which was fun; and I was requested to offer the Sunday feast lecture - the temple room was full of devotees and guests...
I used to visit here regularly in the very beginning of my humble preaching efforts starting from the year 2000. Now, it must be at least 16 years ago that I visited Tiraspol last! I was impressed with the new temple building - how amazing that they managed to get that off the ground, although their community is not so big. And it was nice to meet some known faces from the early days, and many nice and new people also.
In both places, we met every evening for a program at the temple, with all sangas being very well attended and received. Even in the middle of the week - on working days - the devotees were keen to come to the temple and dive into the nectar and bliss of deep discussions in Vaishnava association. And every program concluded with my favourite loving exchange - distributing prasadam to eager hands.....
I also joined the harinam on Saturday morning for an hour and distributed sweets which was fun; and I was requested to offer the Sunday feast lecture - the temple room was full of devotees and guests...
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In connection with our discussions on the topic of the false ego, the first very practical tool of Vaishnava etiquette that helps us immensely to subdue our constant companion and troublemaker is the instruction that a Vaishnava should never defend himself. We should stand up to defend Krishna, our guru or other Vaishnavas when they face injustices, but never ourselves. This rule of etiquette is rather subtle and not so widely discussed, and sometimes entirely unknown. Consequently, we don’t apply it in our daily lives.
We may even follow the very opposite: We eagerly defend ourselves at any given opportunity, but we shy away when it comes to defending other Vaishnavas when they are unfairly treated. We don’t want to stick our necks out and fear ruining our relationships or reputation. And we hide behind an attitude of thinking other devotees’ situations are their personal matter and not our concern. However, Vaishnava culture teaches us to do the opposite.
When we defend ourselves, whom do we defend? We are protecting our false ego. Therefore, it is highly recommended to refrain from doing so. If we all follow this etiquette, then there will be no need to defend ourselves as we will be too busy defending one another.
Defending oneself towards the spiritual master is especially uncultured and a gross violation of Vaishnava etiquette. We may think that perhaps he does not know the details of a certain situation and therefore we have to correct, instruct, or at the very least inform him of the actual situation. He may not know that it wasn’t actually us but somebody else who committed the mistake, thus trying to defend our reputation before him.
Even if our guru does not know the full picture of a situation, the Vaishnava mood is to accept a humble position: “Okay, Krishna, let me welcome this as an opportunity to give up my false ego rather than defending and protecting it. There were so many instances in the past where I did not receive chastisement but deserved it. Therefore, I am receiving some chastisement now, even though I may not fully deserve it this time. But it doesn’t really matter.”
In this way, a Vaishnava will not defend but simply tolerate. Surely, our guru can also try and get more information about the situation and thus receive the full picture. And other devotees can always step forward and inform him that it was not us who made the mistake. After all, it is a temporary situation referring to the bodily platform of life.
In this regard, Hari Sauri Prabhu shares in his Transcendental Diary a funny episode that took place in Calcutta on 5 February 1977:
"Prabhupada called me in and asked me to get a red file out of his almira. I looked and couldn’t see anything so I said, “Prabhupada there isn’t a red file”. So again he said, “Pass me the red file”, so due to my dull brain I again said, “Well, Prabhupada actually there is no red file”, although I could see some others, one of which was a pinkish red.
Prabhupada was really annoyed by this time and then when I pulled out the file, thinking ‘maybe he means this one’ I tried to justify my mistake by saying that “Actually it’s pink; it’s not really red.”
Prabhupada let me have it. He shouted at the top of his voice, with his lip quivering and his back straight and his eyes wide open in anger, “So! Now you have learned how to defend yourself very nicely! Every time I ask you something you simply defend; you have become such a rascal” and he continued rebuking me for about five minutes.
It was a great mercy because this tendency to defend myself even when I am wrong has been getting stronger and stronger of late and Prabhupada has patiently tolerated it but it has not gone unnoticed and today he came smashing down on my false ego with full force. Fortunately I had enough intelligence by Krishna’s mercy to understand that it is Prabhupada’s special mercy that he takes so much time and trouble to train us up to make us Krishna conscious.
This is one of the great advantages of being with him personally. Whatever fault is there he very kindly exposes it in order that we can advance more and more in Krishna’s service and he does not indulge in flattery in order to keep us serving him. He is not short of praise whenever we do something nice but he is alert to his duty as our guru to bring us to as clear an understanding of Krishna as possible.
Defending is one of the material symptoms and Prabhupada detected it in me and took the necessary action to get me out of it. All I could do was hang my head and feel ashamed at having been such a disturbance. Then he sent me out, but I felt very relieved and much happier at having been relieved of my maya and very thankful to Prabhupada for taking the trouble to do it."
The rule of Vaishnava etiquette of not defending ourselves, is helping us to cultivate this very mood and behaviour that will endear us to Krishna. He will become attracted by such a humble attitude in service to Him and His devotees.
This is difficult, no doubt. The tongue is urging us to speak and defend. Even in situations when we are in the right, we should not defend, not to speak of situations when we are in the wrong. However, as a rule, we are prompted to defend even when we are wrong.
This guideline of etiquette is not only important in regards to our dealings with our guru, but with any devotee, and especially with seniors. According to Vaishnava etiquette, a husband is always considered superior to his wife, and thus a cultured wife will by all means refrain from defending and answering back to him.
Even our own parents, who may not be practicing Krishna consciousness, we are meant to treat them as our superiors. And so we are not meant to defend ourselves in front of them or answer back to them. We have to learn to allow them to be right, even if they are wrong. It is a wonderful opportunity to desist from our false ego’s demands to prove that we know better.
On the 20th of July I flew on to Vilnius/Lithuania...
Your servant, Devaki dd
Please visit www.theholynameretreat.net
www.therootsofspiritualculture.net
https://www.facebook.com/instituteforspiritualculture/
We may even follow the very opposite: We eagerly defend ourselves at any given opportunity, but we shy away when it comes to defending other Vaishnavas when they are unfairly treated. We don’t want to stick our necks out and fear ruining our relationships or reputation. And we hide behind an attitude of thinking other devotees’ situations are their personal matter and not our concern. However, Vaishnava culture teaches us to do the opposite.
When we defend ourselves, whom do we defend? We are protecting our false ego. Therefore, it is highly recommended to refrain from doing so. If we all follow this etiquette, then there will be no need to defend ourselves as we will be too busy defending one another.
Defending oneself towards the spiritual master is especially uncultured and a gross violation of Vaishnava etiquette. We may think that perhaps he does not know the details of a certain situation and therefore we have to correct, instruct, or at the very least inform him of the actual situation. He may not know that it wasn’t actually us but somebody else who committed the mistake, thus trying to defend our reputation before him.
Even if our guru does not know the full picture of a situation, the Vaishnava mood is to accept a humble position: “Okay, Krishna, let me welcome this as an opportunity to give up my false ego rather than defending and protecting it. There were so many instances in the past where I did not receive chastisement but deserved it. Therefore, I am receiving some chastisement now, even though I may not fully deserve it this time. But it doesn’t really matter.”
In this way, a Vaishnava will not defend but simply tolerate. Surely, our guru can also try and get more information about the situation and thus receive the full picture. And other devotees can always step forward and inform him that it was not us who made the mistake. After all, it is a temporary situation referring to the bodily platform of life.
In this regard, Hari Sauri Prabhu shares in his Transcendental Diary a funny episode that took place in Calcutta on 5 February 1977:
"Prabhupada called me in and asked me to get a red file out of his almira. I looked and couldn’t see anything so I said, “Prabhupada there isn’t a red file”. So again he said, “Pass me the red file”, so due to my dull brain I again said, “Well, Prabhupada actually there is no red file”, although I could see some others, one of which was a pinkish red.
Prabhupada was really annoyed by this time and then when I pulled out the file, thinking ‘maybe he means this one’ I tried to justify my mistake by saying that “Actually it’s pink; it’s not really red.”
Prabhupada let me have it. He shouted at the top of his voice, with his lip quivering and his back straight and his eyes wide open in anger, “So! Now you have learned how to defend yourself very nicely! Every time I ask you something you simply defend; you have become such a rascal” and he continued rebuking me for about five minutes.
It was a great mercy because this tendency to defend myself even when I am wrong has been getting stronger and stronger of late and Prabhupada has patiently tolerated it but it has not gone unnoticed and today he came smashing down on my false ego with full force. Fortunately I had enough intelligence by Krishna’s mercy to understand that it is Prabhupada’s special mercy that he takes so much time and trouble to train us up to make us Krishna conscious.
This is one of the great advantages of being with him personally. Whatever fault is there he very kindly exposes it in order that we can advance more and more in Krishna’s service and he does not indulge in flattery in order to keep us serving him. He is not short of praise whenever we do something nice but he is alert to his duty as our guru to bring us to as clear an understanding of Krishna as possible.
Defending is one of the material symptoms and Prabhupada detected it in me and took the necessary action to get me out of it. All I could do was hang my head and feel ashamed at having been such a disturbance. Then he sent me out, but I felt very relieved and much happier at having been relieved of my maya and very thankful to Prabhupada for taking the trouble to do it."
The rule of Vaishnava etiquette of not defending ourselves, is helping us to cultivate this very mood and behaviour that will endear us to Krishna. He will become attracted by such a humble attitude in service to Him and His devotees.
This is difficult, no doubt. The tongue is urging us to speak and defend. Even in situations when we are in the right, we should not defend, not to speak of situations when we are in the wrong. However, as a rule, we are prompted to defend even when we are wrong.
This guideline of etiquette is not only important in regards to our dealings with our guru, but with any devotee, and especially with seniors. According to Vaishnava etiquette, a husband is always considered superior to his wife, and thus a cultured wife will by all means refrain from defending and answering back to him.
Even our own parents, who may not be practicing Krishna consciousness, we are meant to treat them as our superiors. And so we are not meant to defend ourselves in front of them or answer back to them. We have to learn to allow them to be right, even if they are wrong. It is a wonderful opportunity to desist from our false ego’s demands to prove that we know better.
On the 20th of July I flew on to Vilnius/Lithuania...
Your servant, Devaki dd
Please visit www.theholynameretreat.net
www.therootsofspiritualculture.net
https://www.facebook.com/instituteforspiritualculture/
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