Last year when I visited Bangalore, the devotees were very busy preparing for the inauguration of the new Radha Vinoda Temple & Cultural Centre (ICC), and thus they could not receive me. So this year I specially went to Bangalore to visit their newly opened temple and was surprised to witness how nicely their community has developed since my last visit in 2018. I felt very inspired about the dynamic mood and all the various activities and educational programs going on in the temple, including for the youth and children of various age groups.
Devotees kept me busy with lots of programs at the temple and in devotees' homes, and I had a blissful time connecting with many serious devotees and distributing lots of copies of the books I have published.
Devotees kept me busy with lots of programs at the temple and in devotees' homes, and I had a blissful time connecting with many serious devotees and distributing lots of copies of the books I have published.
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In our discussion of envy we discovered how this rather ugly quality can manifest in very subtle and undetected ways in our dealings with others. For example, envy can manifest in a constant and overly harsh correction of others, especially juniors. If we find ourselves very eager to take every opportunity to heavily correct others with harsh words, then we should be introspective and look within our hearts - maybe there is envy mixed into our desire to offer correction. Maybe we have the tendency to put others down in order to establish our superior position.
Actually, one has to be authorized to correct others. Just the fact that others around us make mistakes, does not mean we can correct them. Devotees at times show themselves especially enthusiastic to give corrections to newcomers - they make so many mistakes! However, it can be very discouraging for a beginner if he is constantly corrected from all sides, in so many little details of daily life. Hence, we recommend that one particular person be in charge of new devotees and their correction.
Actually, one has to be authorized to correct others. Just the fact that others around us make mistakes, does not mean we can correct them. Devotees at times show themselves especially enthusiastic to give corrections to newcomers - they make so many mistakes! However, it can be very discouraging for a beginner if he is constantly corrected from all sides, in so many little details of daily life. Hence, we recommend that one particular person be in charge of new devotees and their correction.
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His Holiness Bhakti Charu Maharaja explains the etiquette and culture of correcting others in his book Vaishnava Etiquette. To correct a devotee, one must be non-envious and genuinely desiring to practically assist and uplift him in his Krishna consciousness. It also requires a confidential and trusting relationship for the correction to be accepted. We have to be in a position spiritually or managerially which justifies or necessitates such intervention, or we should be personally requested by the devotee to help him in his difficulty. The devotee offering correction should also be practicing what he preaches - he should walk his talk. Our actions speak louder than our words, so our own good example is often the best way to correct others in addition to our words.
We also have to remember that some defects will automatically be corrected in due course of time as the devotee engages in sincere Krishna conscious practice. Some corrections will require further purification of the heart and not mere words pointing out the defects. Thus, one has to be expert in recognizing which correction has to be given at what point in time. Some defects may have to be temporarily overlooked in order not to discourage a young practitioner.
In a letter to Vrinda dated 14 October 1971, Srila Prabhupada explains: “We should always remember that we recruit members from people in general. It is not expected that every one of our members should be immediately to the standard qualification. The best thing for you is to set the example by your personal behavior and try to reform the others, not by criticizing but by friendly behavior.”
One may say: “If almost everyone is envious, and one should be non-envious to correct somebody—how can anybody then correct anyone else at all? Wouldn’t we all then be unqualified to correct others?” Understanding the importance of being non-envious when correcting others will make us very wary in regard to our eagerness to give corrections. We surely must have been in the situation of receiving corrections given with a tinge of envy, and also of giving corrections to others with an envious heart. And we have felt the poisonous and contaminating effect such correction has - for both the receiver and the giver. It does not lead to purification, but rather a disturbed mind and agitated heart and false ego. It ignites our own envy in our hearts.
There are three practical tips when finding ourselves in the position of having to correct others, and at the same time admitting that our heart is not free from envy:
• We request another senior person to offer the correction.
• If we feel a strong urge to correct the person immediately, right now - if we can hardly control our tongue to do so, then better to wait and sleep it over, until our false ego has cooled down and we are more relaxed about the defect to be corrected. This may take some hours, or even several days.
• Before offering the correction we cultivate a prayerful mood, begging Krishna to allow us to be an instrument and offer the correction in a humble and well-wishing mood of service and thus act as their best friend.
The last two tools are especially helpful, and by applying them we can observe ourselves offering the correction in an appropriate mood, even though we may not be free from envy as yet.
Needless to say, a junior devotee should not personally attempt to correct another devotee. Instead, he should reveal his heart to a senior devotee with whom he feels at ease and seek their assistance and advice to adjust the situation. If a junior devotee sees a serious discrepancy in a senior, he should first approach that devotee’s authority and reveal his concerns to him, allowing the person in authority to decide whether he may need to address the situation.
After all, it may even be due to the imagination and wrong assumptions of the junior devotee - one may project one’s own shortcomings and anarthas onto the senior person. And thus there may even be nothing which needs to be adjusted. Once the junior devotee has reported his observations to the senior person, he has done his duty and can leave the matter in the senior person’s hands.
This aspect of Vaishnava etiquette is very important, as it protects a young devotee from finding faults in seniors. Being in the material world, we are diseased with envy and a faultfinding mentality. As a young devotee, we cannot understand what is taking place on senior levels, and we cannot understand the mind and thoughts of a senior person. According to the logic of atmavan manyate jagat, everyone thinks of others according to one’s own position, and thus a junior person may easily misunderstand and misjudge what is taking place on senior levels. Therefore, we should never involve ourselves in disagreements or conflicts taking place on senior levels. We should refrain from discussing such matters, taking sides or passing judgments on seniors. Not following such recommendations can disturb our spiritual life and ultimately poison and destroy the cultivation of our bhakti-lata.
On the 20th of November I flew back to Delhi to visit Gurugram...
Your servant, Devaki dd
Please visit www.theholynameretreat.net
www.therootsofspiritualculture.net
https://www.facebook.com/instituteforspiritualculture/
We also have to remember that some defects will automatically be corrected in due course of time as the devotee engages in sincere Krishna conscious practice. Some corrections will require further purification of the heart and not mere words pointing out the defects. Thus, one has to be expert in recognizing which correction has to be given at what point in time. Some defects may have to be temporarily overlooked in order not to discourage a young practitioner.
In a letter to Vrinda dated 14 October 1971, Srila Prabhupada explains: “We should always remember that we recruit members from people in general. It is not expected that every one of our members should be immediately to the standard qualification. The best thing for you is to set the example by your personal behavior and try to reform the others, not by criticizing but by friendly behavior.”
One may say: “If almost everyone is envious, and one should be non-envious to correct somebody—how can anybody then correct anyone else at all? Wouldn’t we all then be unqualified to correct others?” Understanding the importance of being non-envious when correcting others will make us very wary in regard to our eagerness to give corrections. We surely must have been in the situation of receiving corrections given with a tinge of envy, and also of giving corrections to others with an envious heart. And we have felt the poisonous and contaminating effect such correction has - for both the receiver and the giver. It does not lead to purification, but rather a disturbed mind and agitated heart and false ego. It ignites our own envy in our hearts.
There are three practical tips when finding ourselves in the position of having to correct others, and at the same time admitting that our heart is not free from envy:
• We request another senior person to offer the correction.
• If we feel a strong urge to correct the person immediately, right now - if we can hardly control our tongue to do so, then better to wait and sleep it over, until our false ego has cooled down and we are more relaxed about the defect to be corrected. This may take some hours, or even several days.
• Before offering the correction we cultivate a prayerful mood, begging Krishna to allow us to be an instrument and offer the correction in a humble and well-wishing mood of service and thus act as their best friend.
The last two tools are especially helpful, and by applying them we can observe ourselves offering the correction in an appropriate mood, even though we may not be free from envy as yet.
Needless to say, a junior devotee should not personally attempt to correct another devotee. Instead, he should reveal his heart to a senior devotee with whom he feels at ease and seek their assistance and advice to adjust the situation. If a junior devotee sees a serious discrepancy in a senior, he should first approach that devotee’s authority and reveal his concerns to him, allowing the person in authority to decide whether he may need to address the situation.
After all, it may even be due to the imagination and wrong assumptions of the junior devotee - one may project one’s own shortcomings and anarthas onto the senior person. And thus there may even be nothing which needs to be adjusted. Once the junior devotee has reported his observations to the senior person, he has done his duty and can leave the matter in the senior person’s hands.
This aspect of Vaishnava etiquette is very important, as it protects a young devotee from finding faults in seniors. Being in the material world, we are diseased with envy and a faultfinding mentality. As a young devotee, we cannot understand what is taking place on senior levels, and we cannot understand the mind and thoughts of a senior person. According to the logic of atmavan manyate jagat, everyone thinks of others according to one’s own position, and thus a junior person may easily misunderstand and misjudge what is taking place on senior levels. Therefore, we should never involve ourselves in disagreements or conflicts taking place on senior levels. We should refrain from discussing such matters, taking sides or passing judgments on seniors. Not following such recommendations can disturb our spiritual life and ultimately poison and destroy the cultivation of our bhakti-lata.
On the 20th of November I flew back to Delhi to visit Gurugram...
Your servant, Devaki dd
Please visit www.theholynameretreat.net
www.therootsofspiritualculture.net
https://www.facebook.com/instituteforspiritualculture/
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