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Vanaprastha - we MUST get out of our cosy home

3/3/2025

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My three months' stay in Mayapur was a busy, dynamic and blissful time, with lots of preaching engagements and programs - 6 weeks of courses, then various classes and interviews for youtube channels, and above all: the 4-day ILS, the ISKCON Leadership Sanga. I was invited to offer a presentation to the participating leaders on the Vanaprastha Ashram which was well attended and received; I also had a stall presenting the Institute for Spiritual Culture offering the 6 books I published. By Krishna's mercy my new book "The Vanaprastha Ashram - Meeting Death With Joy" came out three weeks before the ILS took place which was a great opportunity to launch it. On these four days, I was from early morning til evening on my stall, meeting devotees from all around the world, getting their contacts and distributing lots of books. Book distribution to the practising devotees is by far more satisfying to my heart than distributing books to non-devotees. Srila Prabhupada's famous letter he wrote in 1972 to Hamsaduta comes to mind:
"Now we have got so many students and so many temples but I am fearful that if we expand too much in this way that we shall become weakened and gradually the whole thing will become lost. Just like milk. We may thin it more and more with water for cheating the customer, but in the end it will cease to be any longer milk. Better to boil the milk now very vigorously and make it thick and sweet, that is the best process. So let us concentrate on training our devotees very thoroughly in the knowledge of Krishna Consciousness from our books, from tapes, by discussing always, and in so many ways instruct them in the right propositions."
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For the entire three months of my stay in Mayapur, I was almost every morning from 6:30am to 8am in the courtyard outside the Pancha Tattva Temple entrance, distributing books. It gave me a wonderful opportunity to connect with a lot of nice devotees from Mayapur and other parts of the world. I also received many devotees for prasadam at my ashram at the goshala - my favorite loving exchange: feeding devotees with prasadam...!

Over and above, these three months were decorated with ecstatic festive events: the Pusya Abhishek with Radha Madhava in Their beautiful flower dress, Vasanta Panchami with Their stunning yellow outfit, Advaita Acarya's and Lord Nityananda's appearance, and the finale being the Kirtan Mela - the cherry on the cake! Mayapur - a glimpse into the spiritual world...!
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In regard to the vanaprastha-ashrama, the duties within this phase in life are centred around performing tapasya with the ultimate goal of fully absorbing our mind in chanting the holy name and hearing Krishna katha. Once we pass the age of fifty, we become more mindful that death can come at any minute. Hence, our foremost duty is to prepare for this final exam by deepening our dependence on the Lord and His devotees. It is the time when we ought to shake off the illusion of staying here forever.
Leaving one’s secure home is an important aspect of vanaprastha life. Simply refraining from sex indulgence and retiring from earning one’s livelihood is a good beginning but not everything. As a rule, a householder spends many years in his home, raising his children and enjoying various gross and subtle forms of sense gratification like pleasing interior decorations complemented by comfortable furniture, opulent foods, fancy gadgets and household appliances of convenience and, of course, sex life. He has enjoyed the subtle satisfaction of having power and control over someone else and being the proprietor of all he surveyed. In such a mode of power and control, he may have subconsciously tried to imitate Krishna or the demigods by creating his own little heavenly abode, and expansions of his own in the form of offspring; taking on this mood: "I have my house, my garden, my furniture; my children who look just like me, and my wife who serves me!" And he has eagerly invited friends over just to show off to them his little heavenly planet that has been his home. In this way, he has derived great sensual pleasure, mental satisfaction and a good boost to his false ego. After all, the family dynasty must continue…
Family life gives the false ego unlimited room to expand its controlling and enjoying propensities. The importance of giving up these attachments is nicely described in a Srimad-Bhagavatam verse and its purport (9.4.65):
"Since pure devotees give up their homes, wives, children, relatives, riches and even their lives simply to serve Me, without any desire for material improvement in this life or in the next, how can I give up such devotees at any time?"
In the purport, Srila Prabhupada further elaborates:
"Another point in this verse is that attachment to daragara-putrapta – home, wife, children, friendship, society and love – is not the way to achieve the favour of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. One who is attached to hearth and home for material pleasure cannot become a pure devotee. Sometimes a pure devotee may have a habit or attraction for wife, children and home but at the same time want to serve the Supreme Lord to the best of his ability. For such a devotee, the Lord makes a special arrangement to take away the objects of his false attachment and thus free him from attachment to wife, home, children, friends and so on. This is special mercy bestowed upon the devotee to bring him back home, back to Godhead."
Now is the time to cut these attachments – the children are grown up and settled in life. We can gradually retire from earning an income and other worldly duties and responsibilities – we are free to extricate ourselves from material entanglement. In order to cut the attachment to these forms of sense enjoyment, one must leave home. Srila Prabhupada clearly states this in the purport to the Srimad- Bhagavatam verses (4.23.1–3):
"Indeed, it was compulsory for everyone to go to the tapo-vana to fully accept the shelter of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, for it is very difficult to retire from family life and at the same time remain at home."
In the purport to the Srimad-Bhagavatam (3.24.35), Srila Prabhupada uses the example of Kardama Muni. Even when he had Lord Kapila as his son (the Lord Himself), he nevertheless had to leave home:
"Kardama Muni was to leave his family life to completely engage in the service of the Lord. But since he knew that the Lord Himself, as Kapila, had taken birth in his home as his own son, why was he preparing to leave home to search out self-realisation or God realisation? God Himself was present in his home – why should he leave home? Such a question may certainly arise. But here it is said that whatever is spoken in the Vedas and whatever is practised in accordance with the injunctions of the Vedas is to be accepted
as authoritative in society. Vedic authority says that a householder must leave home after his fiftieth year. Panchasordhvam vanam vrajet: one must leave his family life and enter the forest after the age of fifty.
In the purport to 2.1.16, we receive yet another confirmation of this necessity:
"To prepare oneself for the better next life, one must get out of one’s so-called home. […] One is recommended to quit home just to get rid of material attachment because one who sticks to family life until death cannot get rid of material attachment and as long as one is materially attached one cannot understand spiritual freedom.
Srila Prabhupada oftentimes uses the expression of so-called home. The purport to 11.3.26 gives us additional insights:
"Thus a devotee should understand that his eternal residence is fixed in the dust of the lotus feet of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. [...] A pure devotee may travel all over the world distributing Krishna consciousness, but he should never consider any material place to be his actual residence."
Now, in vanaprastha life, we must make an intensified effort to deeply realise this eternal truth by leaving our so-called home and detaching ourselves. We may have the experience of leaving our home to visit the holy dham for several weeks or even months. It is a major step – almost like a plunge into cold water. And while being on the other side of the globe, we may miss our cosy home. This reflects our deep attachment to our hearth and home.
A rolling stone gathers no moss. The more we move, the less chance we give ourselves to become once again settled and comfortable, accumulating so many things. For the past 25 years I have been living out of a suitcase, rarely staying for more than two weeks in one place. The only exception is Mayapur, where I stay for 3 months per year for conducting various courses and retreats.
As a rule, after a week of staying in one place, we settle into a comfortable routine; it is exactly then that it is time to move on to the next place, with no knowledge of what to expect when we get there. No opportunity to get too comfortable. During the pandemic, when I could not travel as fast and had to remain four to six weeks in one community, I could notice a subtle change in my consciousness. I almost felt as if I were falling down from my renounced position – getting all cosy in the homely residence and accumulating more things than required. It was indeed liberating to once again extricate myself from there and get back on the road as soon as the pandemic was over; but it still felt like a leap into cold water…

On the 3rd of March I left Mayapur and flew off to Sofia/Bulgaria....

Your servant, Devaki dd

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