In Durban, the main temple is the Sri Sri Radha Radhanath Mandir - a very beautiful temple with gorgeous Deities, nice gardens, exotic trees and bushes and a fish pond surrounding the entire temple. There is also another big temple with Lord Jagannath at the other end of the city. I was well taken care of in the Radha Radhanath temple and offered a variety of programs. I also visited the Jagannath temple and gave a seminar on the topic of "The Power of Forgiveness" - an always relevant topic for one and all...
We can understand our heart to be a sacred place. By maintaining grudges, we allow the toxic effects of resentment to pollute those sacred chambers of our heart. That which offends us only weakens us. Holding on to the feeling of being offended only magnifies the same destructive energy that offended us in the first place. And we poison our heart by hanging on to it, rather than letting go of it and moving on.
Nelson Mandela stated: “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” Within our minds, we try to punish the other person by maintaining our own anger and ill feelings towards them, but in actuality we punish ourselves. We continue to carry the negativity with us, and therefore maintain the negative association of the person with whom the ill feelings are associated.
Being easily offended can be a sign of being self-centred, insecure and lacking wisdom. It appears as a small problem, but in reality it will keep us from experiencing joy, peace of mind and Krishna’s mercy. Sometimes people carry the burden of resentments within their hearts for many years, whereas the other person forgot about the event a long time ago and moved on.
Unfortunately, so often we have devotees leaving the association of Vaishnavas because of this very reason: being offended. Some disagreement may have taken place and some harsh words may have been exchanged. A person may be offended, not being able to overcome the resentments building up in their hearts. They may find all the justifications within their minds and all the reasons why the community of the devotees is not worth associating with any longer. And as a result, their spiritual practice becomes weak or even dries up entirely. They fade away, never to be seen again.
Whenever anyone has affronted us, we can raise our consciousness so high that the offence cannot reach it. As our relationship with Krishna gradually becomes a tangible reality for us, we can take refuge at His lotus feet; we no longer look for occasions to be offended, and we do not judge and label others. We experience a deep satisfaction that is beyond the effects of anyone or anything external.
If someone has offended us, insulted us or disappointed us, let it go. If we are remembering all the ways we have been hurt or forgotten, let it go! We may ask ourselves, “What good does it do for me to hold on to this?”
The steps for this internal work are:
* hearing about the phenomenon of being offended;
* desiring to give up this tendency;
* being introspective and honest, deeply reflecting within our heart what motives we are cultivating;
* catching ourselves doing the wrong thing;
* calling out to Krishna in helplessness, begging Him to help us let go of our feeling of being offended. We can cry out, “Krishna, my Lord! Please, uproot this false ego from my heart! It is giving me so much suffering and pain. I can’t let go of it by myself, but You can kindly help me to shake it off.”
If we do this internal work, by Krishna’s grace we will eventually be able to let go of our disposition to take offence.
On the 16th of April I flew out to Cologne/Germany.....
Your servant, Devaki dd
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